First you die, then everything goes to shit
by MarenMary93
Summary: Tag to s12 finale. Dean tries his best to get by after the loss of Cas. He hunts as much as the world will let him, until everything comes crashing down on him once again. (Dean!WHUMP, hurt!Dean, crutches, cast?, whump, whump, whump...)


**Okay, first off… If you haven't seen the double-episode season 12 finale yet. –Stop reading unless you're into spoilers… Like, really stop NOW.**

 **Like most of you, the finale almost killed me. I swear, it ripped out my heart and stomped on it. Repeatedly. And it was so bad, I can't even decide what was worst. I cried when Eileen was killed, but nothing can explain my reaction when Cas was stabbed or when Mary got lost in the alternate world.**

 **But I cheered during two scenes too, when Mr. Ketch took the final bullet, and when we saw the alternate world version of Bobby. (Now I just want all my babies back, alright? Bobby, Jo, Ellen, Cas, Eileen, Mary, John, Kevin, Charlie, Ash, Crowley, Rowena… And a whole bunch more… I want them back. In the basic universe.)**

 **Okay, so after I was finished with the first round of sobbing my heart out… (Literally think it liquefied…) My brain started working, and one of the things it produced me with, was that now, since our favorite angel is gone… *SOB* He won't be able to heal up our boys whenever they need it… The next thing that followed was a whole bunch of ideas on my part. Like, MAJOR WHUMP!**

Two weeks, four days, 15 hours… Two weeks, four days, 15 hours… Two weeks. Four days. 15 hours.

It had been two weeks, four days and 15 hours since Cas died. Two weeks, four days and 15 hours since their, his, world changed. He still couldn't believe it. Still couldn't wrap his head around it. He felt empty inside, it wasn't an uncommon feeling for him. No. He had experienced it lots of times before. When mom, when dad, when Sammy… Basically when all of his loved ones had died. He had experienced it.  
-Emptiness.

He did the only thing he could, after the formalities were done, he hunted. Back to back to back… As long as it would last. He had to keep his body going and keep his head busy with other things, with work. Only then would his poor heart shut up and give him a minutes worth of silence.

He tried his best to stay clear of his old friends Jim, Jack and José, accompanied by a few buds and some tequila. He knew that if he put those to the test, he wouldn't be able to let go of the bottle before he had drunk a whole liquor store. Cas…

And then his world came crashing down on him again. Two weeks, five days and 30 minutes after Cas was killed. A vengeful spirit flung him across the graveyard as he was digging up the grave. He collided hard with one of the older, larger, headstones and a blinding pain shot through his left knee. A quick glimpse of it told him that it had split open, his muddy jeans were starting to stain with crimson red. -But all this pain?

"You alright Dean?" Luckily Sam had tagged along for this particular hunt.

"Yeah… -Yeah, I'm fine…" he managed to choke out over the wave of nausea that hit him a few seconds after the pain. "Just keep digging!"

He was happy to hear the continued shoveling as he doubled over to protect his aching knee. He couldn't remember physical pain this bad since… Since…  
Since the last time he had landed himself in a full leg cast, that was it!

SPNSPNSPN

He could hear the spade connect with something solid, the coffin. A sigh of relief passed his lips just before he was airborne once again. This time when he landed, there was no way of hiding or subduing it, there was no way for him to conceal the agony it caused him. A ripping cry sprung from his lungs as the last few fibers of his knee structure seemed to take a bow and exit the stage.

"Dean?" Sammy called from where he had just cracked open the coffin. "Dean!? Are you alright?"

"SONOFABITCH!" Dean growled, curled to protect his knee, not that it was of any help.

"DEAN?"

"Light that corpse up Sammy!" Dean choked out. Hoping that his brother would obey.

Dean was almost too preoccupied with his knee to notice that the 4 by 10 foot hole in the ground lit up with a bright orange flame, or that Caspar the unfriendly departed burst into flames at the exact same time.

"Dean, where are you?" Sam asked a few seconds later, before he found Dean curled in on himself next to a giant oak. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"Nah… No…" Dean winced, "Did something… To my knee…"

The pain was of the same form as the thing that had happened to that same knee two weeks and five days earlier, only it was much worse. Last time there might have been a simple, light fracture, this time he was pretty sure there was a real fracture.

"How bad is it?" Sam asked as he knelt down beside him.

Dean straightened up a bit, enough to let Sam's eyes meet his.

"Oh, shit… It's bad, huh?" Sam concluded a second later. "Can you put weight on it?"

"I don't know."

"You probably need help to get up first?"

Dean nodded in agreement as he relaxed his grip around his thigh. The fact that the fabric around his knee was slick with blood was unsettling.

"Ready?"

"Uhuh…" Dean nodded as Sam wrapped his arm under his armpit, ready to hoist him up.

SPNSPNSPN

Sam's stomach rolled as his eardrum almost burst because of the inhuman howl Dean let out. There was no doubt that his brother was in a great amount of pain, Dean never fussed over small stuff. Never had, never would. (Okay, he could probably bitch and moan the hell out of a simple splinter, but that was something else…)

"How are you doing?"

"Peachy…" Dean bit out through gritted teeth.

"Can you walk?"

Dean tried to put weight down on his left leg, only for it to buckle beneath him. Causing him even more pain.

"Awww, Gaaaaahhh…" Dean growled, "That's a no…"

"How bad?"

"Very."

"Oh…" Sam frowned, tightening his grip around Dean's waist. "You think you can get to the car with my help?"

"Can you sit me down somewhere… Pack up all our crap. Then come and get me?" Dean asked between heavy breaths.

"Sure…" Sam nodded as he helped Dean over to the nearest headstone it was possible to sit on.

SPNSPNSPN

A few minutes later his little brother was back, ready to help him over to the Impala. He couldn't put weight on the damn leg, and fire shot up through it when he hobbled alongside Sam. He couldn't hold back the involuntary noises the pain caused him to make.

"Hold on a sec…" he gritted out after a few yards, and doubled over, steadying his left knee with his free hand.

"Bad?"

"Hell yeah it's bad!" he answered with a growl.

"Want me to carry you?"

"No…"

"Well, can you get to the car then?"

"…"

"Didn't think so..." Sam figured and bent down to pick Dean up in his arms.

Dean cussed as a seasoned sailor, all the way over to the car.

 **Okay, so… I figured I had to post something as a reaction to the heart-shattering finale. I'll probably keep this going for a few chapters. But due to my work schedule I'm not sure when I will be able to post.**


End file.
